Volunteering

I have mentioned in an earlier post that I volunteer. A LOT. What was once something I loved to do, made me feel good about myself and contributed to my community is now sending me around the bend!

I am still a very big believer in volunteering. Communities cannot function without volunteer support; charities, schools, minor sport, festivals and celebrations all depend and survive on the blood, sweat and tears of volunteers.

My volunteer experiences have been primarily with my kids’ school and with minor sports – maybe volunteering for charities would be different – and my experiences have generally not been very positive.

Any time you involve kids, parents and some form of competition be it grades or a sporting event there are high passions, high expectations and a loss of the ability to form rational thought. I have watched very reasonable men (and women) completely lose it and cross lines that you would not believe at hockey and lacrosse games and don’t even get me started about PAC (Parent Advisory Council).

My (mostly) supportive husband has been urging, OK begging me to step back and be less involved. I try. I have had some small successes with saying no but I continue to commit large chunks of time and energy. I used to rationalize these commitments in two ways. 1 – it was helping my kids and 2 – it mad me feel productive and was a great boost to my self-esteem. But these are not working any more. When I am angry and/or upset more often than I am happy I am helping no one. When I don’t actually see my kids practice or play because I am taking care of things I am not serving my family. When I eat huge piles of crap to keep the peace or be politically correct to people who care nothing of my feelings my self esteem is no longer being boosted.

I believe that volunteers need to be accountable to those they serve and we should not get carte blanche to behave badly, power trip or bully. By the same token though I am tired of parents who use minor sport as a babysitting service or a status symbol, I am tired of parents who think because there is a team manager they don’t have to think for themselves or be responsible for their child (or even pay their fees), I am tired of kids who watch their parents behave badly and then live what they learn, I am tired of other volunteers that don’t feel they have any responsibility or accountability to others.

My tips to those who volunteer and those who deal with volunteers.
• Be clear on what your role is and fulfil it to the best of your ability, if you can’t do it all ask for help
• Once you make a commitment stick it out or if necessary find a replacement and then remove yourself – don’t make others clean up your messes
• Don’t make it personal, always be respectful when dealing with others and remember you don’t always know what else is going on in someone’s life
• Be willing to help, many hands make light work and all that
• Remember why you choose to volunteer and if you are the parent on the other side remember without volunteers whatever you are participating in wouldn’t be happening

If there is anyone reading this, do you volunteer? what have your experiences been like? I am ever optimistic that somewhere everyone works together respectfully, has a great time and accomplishes great things, I would love to hear that story, LOL!